Hello and happy Spring!

As March wraps up, I wanted to share some struggles with which I’ve been wrestling over the last month.

First and foremost, I feel a bit like my life is in limbo. I’m not enjoying my job, but I haven’t yet been able to identify a better alternative. I’ve settled into my new city but haven’t yet found a solid community. I’m literally conflicted between wanting to spend my Saturday nights frolicking from bar to bar without a worry in the world like my college days, and cuddling on the couch, watching an Academy Award-nominated documentary and going to bed early, so that Sunday is optimally productive (working out, meal prepping, doing chores). That one is truly the most confusing.

I follow a lot of people on social media that are open about their stories and generous with life wisdom about their path to success and fulfillment, but I find myself wanting to know more of what was actually running through their head before they “got there.” I also wonder if there is any value in sharing my own insights preemptively, hoping that someday I find what I’m looking for and can tell other people, “no, really, your doubts are normal.”

Lack of motivation

I have so many ideas for projects and career paths. I spend my days currently frustrated and disinterested in my current role, but forcing myself to put my best work out there and muster up enthusiasm – how else would I survive? Then I get home from work, and while I still have the strong desire to start sanding that piece of furniture to refinish it or research how to secure a loan for a house flip in Baltimore, I find myself doing mindless, soothing chores around the house, getting some exercise (fine, a healthy diversion), or throwing the ball with the pup at the park (okay, another good way to decompress).

But ultimately, a week passes, a month goes by, and I’m no farther along than when I promised myself I start. In my mind, I whine daily about how bored I am, but I make no progress in pursuing a new path. It’s an infuriating cycle. You can find dozens of tips you should do to combat this on the internet – break the process down into goals, accomplish small goals by the week, celebrate small victories, etc. But I have yet to do this.

I read in the New York Times the other day (while procrastinating…) an article called “Why You Procrastinate.” The writer quotes Dr. Tim Pychyl, professor of psychology at Carleton University in Ottawa: “Motivation follows action. Get started, and you’ll find your motivation follows.”

That said, my goal for March is to… get started.